16th Oct'07
Well I was avoiding this but I guess Writing helps a lot..when you jes want to be quiet and know that cant explain certain things to anyone. My tone do reflect a feel of negativity… rite??? But I guess its jes the sign of prolonged wait for something that is The most important…PLACEMENT… Not actually worried about it but ya want it to happen as soon as possible…everyone wants that…Very happy for my frenz who have been placed and who have been so anxiously waiting for us to be placed to have a blast !!!!! people back home, old frenz all waiting for D day…n moreover our decisions for going HOME for Diwali..I hope I can figure out something by then….
Every morning when I wake up I have a different feel….incomparable from the previous day…n believe me I m enjoying this ride like heaven in the clouds of thoughts so very weird, obnoxious, and at times positive…( hey bit too poetic he he he) but to be true….till date I have never had that utmost positive strike…that you generally have at times when u go for something very important and I guess that will only come on the Day that is MINE….that is only for me, meant for me :) even writing this put a Smile on my face…
I must say that these experiences will stay with me forever, starting from answering those stupid questions of some straight forward people…to questions from those high profiled recruiters…Gosh at times they are devil and at times…. Ask those who have been placed…u’ll get all kinds of adjectives associated wid them…depending upon whether they have selected u or rejected u….but on a very serious note…every time your convictions are questioned you rediscover yourself…and that is what ;may be I should look forward to….people might think that I m depressed or under pressure but I know I m not..its another side of the coin…that is a deep rooted thought process that could either give me a boost or jes give a subdued profile…coz at times I jes don’t say anything but have lot of things going on in my mind…Ya at times I want someone to be there to understand that and jes be there wid me…But I have realized that for me deviation is possible only if I want…n that is a TYPICAL VIRGO…. No one can ever bring me out of my reverie, or thought process if I don’t want that myself….analyzer….the term sounds great but at times I actually have to prod my self..that chill..dont have to think that much…..but I guess…virgos can’t help it..atleast that’s the answer I give to myself…
Since two days Jigyasa n me are out an out supporting each other…I know sounding cliché…n both of us actually don’t need that..but I guess sometimes you dnt even know what u need…she came to me last nite…n jes hug me……saying will miss you like hell after leaving from here….I m bad at expressing to people-that how important someone is for me…I take it in a very different way..cant explain that…but I have already started feeling that so called wind of secede with the ones that have become a part of my routine, my thoughts, my concern…but that is what life is….n its all part n parcel of the game …though writing that hurts :(
I guess should end with a contented feel that the day is not that far when I would be earning, spending, planning all my expenses on my own…n could afford a gift or two for someone I feel like gifting he he he…..
Chalo..hope to post the next one….When I m termed as EMPLOYED :)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
JAUNT- My Home trip
Yeah…going HOME!!!!!!!! To even write this is an amazing feeling!!! believe me….especially for me!!!!!! I wanted a break..big time and was waiting for this day. I know how I have spent the last week..anxiously waiting for THE DAY….
Well I had my doubts to catch my flight on time…and I am saying this coz there were so many things in my way from college to airport :-) like rain ( raining like cats n dogs), arranging the bike, the odd timing permission, to Rescue the bike before 4 in the morning, Petrol availability and what not???? Putting all the things at their right place is actually tough out here with everyone having some problem or the other……gosh..its okay..all good things take their own sweet time…..
And this time it did :-). I reached the airport just in time!!!!! Thanks to the smooth driving of Mr. Gemini, though it started raining and we didn’t know the way, we still managed to reach at 5:35 A.M when my flight was at 6:00. After checking in and the security check, the airport staff at the time of my boarding called out on their walky talky – “ 5 short”- that was the time when I realized, how timely I entered. Science n technology has done WONDERS!!!! And when they get connected with your urge…..don’t ask, they are the Savior…. I was dying to reach my place, an being there in 3 hrs instead of normal 32 hrs journey was an amazing feeling. Jaipur experience was fun… I actually felt touched when all my frenz out there called me right aftet I landed to enquire about my plans, when to meet etc etc…Met Himanshu, Ankur, and Pooja. She actually planned everything. We went to our favorite place…Indian Spice at G.T ( a hangout, where we always landed for E.T-eye tonic :-) for us G.T <=>E.T ) had a good breakfast along with our chit chat and gossips with our spicy remarks- “accha..I never knew this…” as always :-) then went with ankur to ajmer…and those 8 days..WOW !!!!!!!! they jes flew away…
This Rakhi was unforgettable. All the time I was humming our common traditional song that all we cousin sing when we are back together at our place…
Dukh ke din beete re bhaiya ab Sukh aayo reeeee…
Had the busiest days, most tiring days and enjoyable hours and the best part was my gang of cousins, who pampered me like a ‘SMALL SIS’ and were always around to make me feel the BEST. 23 people at one place..Man!!!! it was actually a marriage rehearsal for Princy di..filled with emotions, chaos, shouting, masti, music and difficult situations to handle… In short my trip was a Total Blast!!!!
Then what????? Every good thing has an end :-(, came back on 2nd night.......stayed at my L.G’s..hey must say..they are one of the nicest people I’ve ever seen. Touchwood for that!!!!
Came back to college on 3rd morning in a faculty bus…Uff....yet another experience traveling with Staring faculty…questioning with their looks… Y u Students come everywhere..THIS Bus is Ours..he he he.. Met my frenz, all enquiring about stuff I got for them. Two days from then, went to city to meet jigyasa n Sachin, was really looking forward to meet both of them, she actually called 10 times to ask when am I coming…on the other hand HAD to convince Mr. Gemini to accompany….imagine!!!! Must say he pulls the trigger at the right time to get his work done, through his stupid terms and conditions every time. Finally went to Pizza Hut, teased the stuarts, enjoyed and came back to college in a jet speed Bus…overall an Exult experience from 25th to 4th SEP.
Well I had my doubts to catch my flight on time…and I am saying this coz there were so many things in my way from college to airport :-) like rain ( raining like cats n dogs), arranging the bike, the odd timing permission, to Rescue the bike before 4 in the morning, Petrol availability and what not???? Putting all the things at their right place is actually tough out here with everyone having some problem or the other……gosh..its okay..all good things take their own sweet time…..
And this time it did :-). I reached the airport just in time!!!!! Thanks to the smooth driving of Mr. Gemini, though it started raining and we didn’t know the way, we still managed to reach at 5:35 A.M when my flight was at 6:00. After checking in and the security check, the airport staff at the time of my boarding called out on their walky talky – “ 5 short”- that was the time when I realized, how timely I entered. Science n technology has done WONDERS!!!! And when they get connected with your urge…..don’t ask, they are the Savior…. I was dying to reach my place, an being there in 3 hrs instead of normal 32 hrs journey was an amazing feeling. Jaipur experience was fun… I actually felt touched when all my frenz out there called me right aftet I landed to enquire about my plans, when to meet etc etc…Met Himanshu, Ankur, and Pooja. She actually planned everything. We went to our favorite place…Indian Spice at G.T ( a hangout, where we always landed for E.T-eye tonic :-) for us G.T <=>E.T ) had a good breakfast along with our chit chat and gossips with our spicy remarks- “accha..I never knew this…” as always :-) then went with ankur to ajmer…and those 8 days..WOW !!!!!!!! they jes flew away…
This Rakhi was unforgettable. All the time I was humming our common traditional song that all we cousin sing when we are back together at our place…
Dukh ke din beete re bhaiya ab Sukh aayo reeeee…
Had the busiest days, most tiring days and enjoyable hours and the best part was my gang of cousins, who pampered me like a ‘SMALL SIS’ and were always around to make me feel the BEST. 23 people at one place..Man!!!! it was actually a marriage rehearsal for Princy di..filled with emotions, chaos, shouting, masti, music and difficult situations to handle… In short my trip was a Total Blast!!!!
Then what????? Every good thing has an end :-(, came back on 2nd night.......stayed at my L.G’s..hey must say..they are one of the nicest people I’ve ever seen. Touchwood for that!!!!
Came back to college on 3rd morning in a faculty bus…Uff....yet another experience traveling with Staring faculty…questioning with their looks… Y u Students come everywhere..THIS Bus is Ours..he he he.. Met my frenz, all enquiring about stuff I got for them. Two days from then, went to city to meet jigyasa n Sachin, was really looking forward to meet both of them, she actually called 10 times to ask when am I coming…on the other hand HAD to convince Mr. Gemini to accompany….imagine!!!! Must say he pulls the trigger at the right time to get his work done, through his stupid terms and conditions every time. Finally went to Pizza Hut, teased the stuarts, enjoyed and came back to college in a jet speed Bus…overall an Exult experience from 25th to 4th SEP.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
hey guys...no doubt blogging came suddenly to me..but I used to write a lot during my engineering..this post of mine is from my old collection. I generally prefer writing when I m sad or in a very different mood..so u will always find tht shrouded touch of my thoughts in my writings...this poem was written when two most important persons in my life were not beside me.. n I was goin through a tough phase..so jes pen down wht I felt...hope its not tht depressig..though I knw it is..but thts me wen I m way too Sad :)
Life for me has been full of experiences,
Some which were cheerful n some,full of grievances.
When I try to find answers of sorrows,
All I have is sight of Blank tomorrows.
My past offers me tears of pain,
I wish I could come out, but in vain.
Like others me too deserves to be happy n gay,
To live in the colors of love n Care.
But seldom do I find Someone Listening to my heart,
Left alone is my lonliness, tearing me apart.
For Days and nights I wait n Pray,
To lit up my life through the brightest Ray.
When I now look for things, I deserve,
What I get is ,some explanations n terms.
Relationships for me were so one sided,
Me Waiting, Me giving n still left unanswered.
The stage of my life is now so empty,
Where characters I want are always so anti.
I wish I have all I missed, Those years of my life,
I wanted to cherish.
I pray to God to end this phase,to have some people who set ablaze,
The FIRE of Joy, The SPRING of Love...
And above all the things I Deserve.
Life for me has been full of experiences,
Some which were cheerful n some,full of grievances.
When I try to find answers of sorrows,
All I have is sight of Blank tomorrows.
My past offers me tears of pain,
I wish I could come out, but in vain.
Like others me too deserves to be happy n gay,
To live in the colors of love n Care.
But seldom do I find Someone Listening to my heart,
Left alone is my lonliness, tearing me apart.
For Days and nights I wait n Pray,
To lit up my life through the brightest Ray.
When I now look for things, I deserve,
What I get is ,some explanations n terms.
Relationships for me were so one sided,
Me Waiting, Me giving n still left unanswered.
The stage of my life is now so empty,
Where characters I want are always so anti.
I wish I have all I missed, Those years of my life,
I wanted to cherish.
I pray to God to end this phase,to have some people who set ablaze,
The FIRE of Joy, The SPRING of Love...
And above all the things I Deserve.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
This contemporary Look!!!
Well Well finally I made up my mind to actually Blog...n this is all coz of a nautanki named Mr. Gemini.... who left no option other than to continue with this...I am not as good as him..neither at writing nor at complementing..but it was really nice to get a well created blog for myself as a gift :-) so, eventually I posted some of my previous writings....hopefully I can carry this forward.
Who knows........ few years down the line google people might approach me to add this blog site to the first search page of the most famous Blog writers.....he he he he...jes kidding... jes pampering myself in order to continue.....
Who knows........ few years down the line google people might approach me to add this blog site to the first search page of the most famous Blog writers.....he he he he...jes kidding... jes pampering myself in order to continue.....
A surge of Thoughts!!!!!
1st August:-Wednesday
Well..nothing else to do, MCIS class- don’t ask Way too boring, hence thought of just juggling with words. After a long- break, me writing something…Gosh!! what a boring presentation going on…I don’t know what is the use of coming to class………………..
eh ha…attendance of course. Didn’t get a proxy this time as well..Bad luck L
Today I am feeling a bit different. Don’t want to write the old stuff, day’s happening, but just some thoughts crossings my mind. Since few weeks me having a mix feeling of joy & sadness. Hell lot of mood swings and deep intense thoughts have kept me engrossed lately. Don’t know why, but my reverie level has reached a higher stage. I felt bad for things that hardly matters to others, I felt lonely when no one was bothered to notice it, I felt left out, I was worried for things that weren’t my type on friend’s part. I think I have developed a feeling of keeping things to myself a lot and at times it troubles me a lot. I know I can share with my close ones, but somehow I just don’t feel like, because even after sharing, I get an impression that I’ve not been understood. Ya I know sounding way too philosophical and cliché but this is what I feel. At times I feel happy about the friends
I have who care for me and as soon as I do that, something happens that wakes me up from that serene feeling and force me into a bleak atmosphere of being lonely and asks me to just be self-dependent.
Lately I have observed people being so different at different times. Its actually unpredictable and at times really difficult to digest. I know myself, as a person, my close ones, my frenz affects me a lot, 90% of my mood swings and behaviour is due to their day to day behaviour and I am actually trying to work it out. Eventually I am the one who keep thinking about the stuff that easily go unnoticed by others who are responsible for it.
I know I am a sensitive person but I was always able to strike a balance earlier between sensitivity and practicality, but these days, don’t know, just not able to.
Kriti called so many times..that is the best part, but still me ot able to come-up with effective expressive talks. Nowadays I feel that I should actually start writing about various situations and people’s behaviour during those situations (I hope and I know I can
Do tht in future J )
I am learning a lot, how a person can be so casual with things, how a person ca just ignore what happens around him/her so eeficiently. How when in group of friends, one can ignore someone near and dear to them ( so called) not in a great mood and enjoy themselves, how can a person who do not deserve even slightest of your sacrifice, your attention gets a big piece of cake and how can a friend change his/her priority for others who are not at all worth it???
Why always people who are wrong get right things?
This is sounding very depressing, but can’t help it, these thoughts are creeping in, everyday.
Jigyasa n me talk a lot these things and always lead to same conclusion in different ways.
Some people become important to you and you just can’t let it go and hence that hurts. Gosh!!! I can be so negative at times, but the fact is I always try to stay away from hurting anyone, to keep everyone around me HAPPY!!! Not trying to be modest but I actually try Hard, but then believe me its not at all easy. Anyways while writing all this I didn’t even realized that even the Q and A session is over and my group has already asked a question.
Ohhh I was so engrossed. This clumsy fellow has started taking the attendace by his own from yesterday, so o proxies, SAD !!! L Really Sad. Hey I talked to Pooja today, tried calling her yesterday after her senti message, but in vain, Today we had a half an hour talk and it was good hearing from her. She has made me feel so special lately that I actually wonder what I have done. I was always the same for her. But to be true,an amazing feeling …..Seriously. Friends for me are ‘THE PRIORITY’ and when you miss someone, when you are not together, when you are far off, you actually feel the pain and feel the importance of that person. I just hope I can always be there for my frenz whenever they need me, can’t see them sad. Okay now I should give-up, attendance is over and I can write more and more.
Lets see...
Gosh I know tough to handle the readings na....great going..thanks
Well..nothing else to do, MCIS class- don’t ask Way too boring, hence thought of just juggling with words. After a long- break, me writing something…Gosh!! what a boring presentation going on…I don’t know what is the use of coming to class………………..
eh ha…attendance of course. Didn’t get a proxy this time as well..Bad luck L
Today I am feeling a bit different. Don’t want to write the old stuff, day’s happening, but just some thoughts crossings my mind. Since few weeks me having a mix feeling of joy & sadness. Hell lot of mood swings and deep intense thoughts have kept me engrossed lately. Don’t know why, but my reverie level has reached a higher stage. I felt bad for things that hardly matters to others, I felt lonely when no one was bothered to notice it, I felt left out, I was worried for things that weren’t my type on friend’s part. I think I have developed a feeling of keeping things to myself a lot and at times it troubles me a lot. I know I can share with my close ones, but somehow I just don’t feel like, because even after sharing, I get an impression that I’ve not been understood. Ya I know sounding way too philosophical and cliché but this is what I feel. At times I feel happy about the friends
I have who care for me and as soon as I do that, something happens that wakes me up from that serene feeling and force me into a bleak atmosphere of being lonely and asks me to just be self-dependent.
Lately I have observed people being so different at different times. Its actually unpredictable and at times really difficult to digest. I know myself, as a person, my close ones, my frenz affects me a lot, 90% of my mood swings and behaviour is due to their day to day behaviour and I am actually trying to work it out. Eventually I am the one who keep thinking about the stuff that easily go unnoticed by others who are responsible for it.
I know I am a sensitive person but I was always able to strike a balance earlier between sensitivity and practicality, but these days, don’t know, just not able to.
Kriti called so many times..that is the best part, but still me ot able to come-up with effective expressive talks. Nowadays I feel that I should actually start writing about various situations and people’s behaviour during those situations (I hope and I know I can
Do tht in future J )
I am learning a lot, how a person can be so casual with things, how a person ca just ignore what happens around him/her so eeficiently. How when in group of friends, one can ignore someone near and dear to them ( so called) not in a great mood and enjoy themselves, how can a person who do not deserve even slightest of your sacrifice, your attention gets a big piece of cake and how can a friend change his/her priority for others who are not at all worth it???
Why always people who are wrong get right things?
This is sounding very depressing, but can’t help it, these thoughts are creeping in, everyday.
Jigyasa n me talk a lot these things and always lead to same conclusion in different ways.
Some people become important to you and you just can’t let it go and hence that hurts. Gosh!!! I can be so negative at times, but the fact is I always try to stay away from hurting anyone, to keep everyone around me HAPPY!!! Not trying to be modest but I actually try Hard, but then believe me its not at all easy. Anyways while writing all this I didn’t even realized that even the Q and A session is over and my group has already asked a question.
Ohhh I was so engrossed. This clumsy fellow has started taking the attendace by his own from yesterday, so o proxies, SAD !!! L Really Sad. Hey I talked to Pooja today, tried calling her yesterday after her senti message, but in vain, Today we had a half an hour talk and it was good hearing from her. She has made me feel so special lately that I actually wonder what I have done. I was always the same for her. But to be true,an amazing feeling …..Seriously. Friends for me are ‘THE PRIORITY’ and when you miss someone, when you are not together, when you are far off, you actually feel the pain and feel the importance of that person. I just hope I can always be there for my frenz whenever they need me, can’t see them sad. Okay now I should give-up, attendance is over and I can write more and more.
Lets see...
Gosh I know tough to handle the readings na....great going..thanks
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