A surge of Thoughts!!!!!

1st August:-Wednesday

Well..nothing else to do, MCIS class- don’t ask Way too boring, hence thought of just juggling with words. After a long- break, me writing something…Gosh!! what a boring presentation going on…I don’t know what is the use of coming to class………………..
eh ha…attendance of course. Didn’t get a proxy this time as well..Bad luck L

Today I am feeling a bit different. Don’t want to write the old stuff, day’s happening, but just some thoughts crossings my mind. Since few weeks me having a mix feeling of joy & sadness. Hell lot of mood swings and deep intense thoughts have kept me engrossed lately. Don’t know why, but my reverie level has reached a higher stage. I felt bad for things that hardly matters to others, I felt lonely when no one was bothered to notice it, I felt left out, I was worried for things that weren’t my type on friend’s part. I think I have developed a feeling of keeping things to myself a lot and at times it troubles me a lot. I know I can share with my close ones, but somehow I just don’t feel like, because even after sharing, I get an impression that I’ve not been understood. Ya I know sounding way too philosophical and cliché but this is what I feel. At times I feel happy about the friends
I have who care for me and as soon as I do that, something happens that wakes me up from that serene feeling and force me into a bleak atmosphere of being lonely and asks me to just be self-dependent.

Lately I have observed people being so different at different times. Its actually unpredictable and at times really difficult to digest. I know myself, as a person, my close ones, my frenz affects me a lot, 90% of my mood swings and behaviour is due to their day to day behaviour and I am actually trying to work it out. Eventually I am the one who keep thinking about the stuff that easily go unnoticed by others who are responsible for it.
I know I am a sensitive person but I was always able to strike a balance earlier between sensitivity and practicality, but these days, don’t know, just not able to.

Kriti called so many times..that is the best part, but still me ot able to come-up with effective expressive talks. Nowadays I feel that I should actually start writing about various situations and people’s behaviour during those situations (I hope and I know I can
Do tht in future J )

I am learning a lot, how a person can be so casual with things, how a person ca just ignore what happens around him/her so eeficiently. How when in group of friends, one can ignore someone near and dear to them ( so called) not in a great mood and enjoy themselves, how can a person who do not deserve even slightest of your sacrifice, your attention gets a big piece of cake and how can a friend change his/her priority for others who are not at all worth it???

Why always people who are wrong get right things?
This is sounding very depressing, but can’t help it, these thoughts are creeping in, everyday.
Jigyasa n me talk a lot these things and always lead to same conclusion in different ways.
Some people become important to you and you just can’t let it go and hence that hurts. Gosh!!! I can be so negative at times, but the fact is I always try to stay away from hurting anyone, to keep everyone around me HAPPY!!! Not trying to be modest but I actually try Hard, but then believe me its not at all easy. Anyways while writing all this I didn’t even realized that even the Q and A session is over and my group has already asked a question.
Ohhh I was so engrossed. This clumsy fellow has started taking the attendace by his own from yesterday, so o proxies, SAD !!! L Really Sad. Hey I talked to Pooja today, tried calling her yesterday after her senti message, but in vain, Today we had a half an hour talk and it was good hearing from her. She has made me feel so special lately that I actually wonder what I have done. I was always the same for her. But to be true,an amazing feeling …..Seriously. Friends for me are ‘THE PRIORITY’ and when you miss someone, when you are not together, when you are far off, you actually feel the pain and feel the importance of that person. I just hope I can always be there for my frenz whenever they need me, can’t see them sad. Okay now I should give-up, attendance is over and I can write more and more.

Lets see...

Gosh I know tough to handle the readings na....great going..thanks