Right now me sitting in my room…..trying to figure out what should I do?? Well Tomorrow I have 5 evaluations n believe me I haven’t even started for any. To be frank I think I won’t coz I jes don’t feel like..Came back 4m PUNJABI DHABBA…To be precise our only escape from the screwed up dinner of our lovely Mess…. especially on Sundays. This place is actually good when you need to have nice dinner for a decent price. Today I read few blogs so guess ussi ka asar hai..…..jes felt like writing…coz feeling very quirky….While coming back from the Dhabba n while walking on that dark empty road a sudden feeling of keeping quiet and hushed engulfed me…wanted to be with myself..it jes clicked that I haven’t been to our hostel terrace for quite a long time…I used to spent time there when I was upset, very happy or when I jes wanted to be me…..
Sundays are generally for lazing around n I did the same…after having my breakfast…around 11:30 came back to my room n felt like lying down…since then my thought process is at its peak…I was not thinking about something specific…but ya was quiet…n then felt asleep..Didn’t even realize when???? Got up at 12:55 to be precise through a message (Tata Indicom people are actually using hi-tech marketing strategies, coz their messages haunt me at 2:00 in the night sometimes) but to my surprise I had a sound sleep..n touchwood for that…went for lunch….then for tea…n even at tea while sitting on the terrace I was thinking something or the other…I don’t know how to put that in words..but today going out n sitting is taking me into my own world of thoughts……n I guess that was continued when I was walking down that empty road…on my way back to the hostel..I was hardly talking…. I m not sad I m sure of that but Ya..i m feeling different..ab what is this different???... is a million dollar question…..
Got a call for tomorrow’s Viva…yaikksss…I guess have to start..but not having the right mind set..chod yaar kaun karega abhi…mann nahi hai subah dekhte hai..wat say????yaar yeh padhai kissne banai..sachi ab bilkul feel nahi aata..kher…. Hmmm so where was I???? ya on me feeling different….everything is coming to my notice today…
While coming back to hostel after tea..I saw a laborer’s child crying at distant n rolling down in mud…even that caught my eyes n I felt like going there to find out the reason…pata nahi weird thing….
I was also thinking to myself…that things are gonna change drastically in the coming months….starting from me going home for 2 months after a long time n then joining my job..living in Mumbai etc etc etc…this is the time when I can actually be with myself..can be with my frenz and can actually be so free….. to be precise ;’Vallie’ is the word. Its not for the first time that this thought crossed my mind..but along wid this a lot of things were jes making a flash…at times words cannot express what you want to….
I was missing something…I was looking for something…and I am still in a hushed mood…n believe me this kinda feeling has come after a long time…..Things are running fine…but still…. You know what I want to do abhi...to go to a place where I can sit quietly….. watch stars ( I love that)…n jes listen to some very soft music…a place where there is an open sky….n me lying down with my thoughts…may sound filmy…but I really want to do that…I wanted to walk alone..to sit alone..to think alone….I guess I should paint/draw something…hmmm will do that…
Hey me feeling good after writing…I know I haven’t written anything worth…but I m feeling good…this quietness is actually soothing…I can hear my watch’s tick-tick in d room…shear silence….n I m loving this pin drop silence…. guess should stop writing…coz words are falling short for me being able to explain what I want to….newys but it helped..now I will draw something.
Hey thnks for bearing wid me…n would like to thank few… those who have started reading my blog…par yaar comment phone par nahi yaha diya karo…aaj kal logo ki badi fan following hoti hai…so atleast people like me would love to see few comments here on the site itself….n for those who were asking me about latest happenings of new year..well there are many..got my Offer letter…bahut jaldi mila..unexpected..so that was gr8…finished my BI project Finally (don’t even ask..thts a long story..uske liye ek alag blog dedicate karungi…kal k baad..tomorrow is the grand finale) went to Dhola ri Dhani...n finally got the tickets booked for all of us…isse zayada kuch batane ko hai nahi abhi…well I guess abhi ke liye its enough…
Started writing a blog with a different tone n finished with a different one..now that is the effect of Spontaneity and writing helps…
Will soon post another…on my BI project n our trip to Dhola ri dhani..till then cya…
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1 comment:
I totally know what you wanna say but are not able to.it happens at times, the time out funda..... everyone needs it.....tell me 1 gthing frankly... that kid in the mud, you were jealous of him and wanted to join him naa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 :-)
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